Rants and ramblings of a wanna be

I read a blog from a "real" artist (as opposed to me, a wanna be).  Yesterday she stated that she was at an art show and that it was hard to put her stuff out among so many other "pretty things".  Is such insecurity rampant among the artistic/creative crowd?  Is that  one (and perhaps the only) way that I actually fit in to that group?  Why should some of us be soooo insecure?

This is something that I fight in many aspects of my life - and why the fact that it seems that no one cares about this blog actually hurts even if on the other edge on the "sword" I'm scared that someone might actually find out something about me that I would rather stay hidden.  I would love to step out and "shine"so to speak but am afraid that if I step out, it will be into nothing more tha a huge pile of doodo.  I've been that way as long as I can remember but then again as a shild, I could do nothing right according to my mother.  I wasn't even worth teaching because I would only mess things up (had to get it right the first time).  

This segways into another blog I recently read about the old adage we kids used to say:
Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
I'm here to say that words do hurt - a hurt that lasts a whole major lot longer than any broken bone.  I personally can handle broken bones better than hurtful words - I have years of festering wounds from hurtful words.

This is the second half of the commission work I had to do.  I"m DONE!  I'm easily bored and get tired of working on the same thing.  This took WAY too long to finish as far as I'm concerned.  Now on to the next...

Ahem.  I've heard back from NOONE about the challenge to incorporate colors into the next DS game run.  Hello?  Is any one out there?  *taps on the glass of the monitor to try to get attention*.  How can I steal you ideas if you don't share them?  how can anyone else?  Should I conclude no one cares and just stop trying? *sigh*

I spent two days working on paintings (on poster board) for use at the church for the next sermon series which starts...this Sunday.  I just ruined both in the space of a 1/2 hour. I really need a working brain!  

Now to start over...

Did a quick swing by at Marcon, got to see Mark and Sue at the Dragonstorm booth.  It was good to see old friends even if I did not have the time to spend all weekend there.  Sue got to meet my youngest daughter for the first time and I think they like each other - GOOD!.

Busy with Church stuff, last Sunday being Easter Sunday.  Hubby and I needed both our vehicles to haul all the stuff necessary for decor up to the church.  Then we had to haul it all back, sigh.  I'm still tired, but still going.  I have to get eveything ready for the next sermon series which starts... this Sunday so am on a little break right now.  I just finished tye-dying material to use in the banners.  The freeze warning for tonight has not started yet and my fingers are Blue - Bahama blue to be exact.  I was careful and used gloves during the dying process but then forgot during the clean up process.  (Anybody got a working brain they can lend me once in a while?)

After a long winter of not thinking dragonstorm, I have a new assignment. Find  a way to incorporate colors into the story line of your next adventure, then report back here and let me know what happened, ok?   I'm all for stealing, er, borrowing your ideas for new scenarios...

busy working that art commission  I mentioned a while back - as of today I'm over half done.  The Commissioner wanted people to represent "red and yellow black and white" so here are the finished second half of that, the black and white.    Still need to finish the hair and dress the "red and yellow" people.  Give me a couple more weeks... *sigh*  I think I'm ready to move on to something else.

The request part is for good thoughts/ prayers for Susan VanCamp's health.  She continues to have issues with her health/meds.  (Anyone have an update recently?)  Send her all the "majik" you can, ok?

I just got a call from my oldest daughter.  Her Fiance's stepdad just died unexpectedly.  Seems that step dad got hit on the head at the machine shop he worked at, and went home early.  When he felt worse later, he finally went to the ER but by then they could not stop the bleeding in the brain.  Prayers and comforting wishes would be appreciated from all those out there who actually read this blog.

Prayers for the continued health improvements for Susan VanCamp would be appreciated also.

WAs suppose to go to Columbus last night for a DragonStorm Game but is got  cancelled.   Seems the weather (IE Tornados) decided that game night was a good time to hit the region.  Having grown up with tornados (I am from the Southern part of Indiana originally) they are a part of my conciousness.  

My mom was missed, she lives  one county North of Henryville. However when I talked to her last night, I-65 through the Henryville Indiana region was closed down due to debris (there is a couple of truck stops, one on each side  there) on the interstate,  For those who don't know yet, Henryville and Marysville (neighboring towns) were almost wiped off the state map by a very large tornado.  Also, according to channel 12 news out of Cincinnati the town of Holton to the east of mom by a little more than a county is almost gone.  I drive through Holton every time I go to see her.  I can't help but wonder how much of what I know is gone that I DON'T know about.

Now when I was a little, Illinios, southern Indiana, Kentucky, and Southwestern Ohio were all considered part of Tornado alley.  Yes it does extend this far.  As a kid, we spent many an evening on the backporch which had the entrance to our basement, listening to the weather reports on the radio after a tornado warning had been issued.  EVERY YEAR some part of our county or a neighboring county would be hit by (mostly much smaller) tornados.  I still remember the April '73 outbreak that had many F5 tornados criss crossing the midwest. (That one year an F4 missed mom's house by 1/2 mile)  I am really surprised that no newscaster had not compared this out break to that one, but then again, I think I am older than many of the newscasters out there.

I know that east of Cincinnati there is a lot of damage but I don't know how bad.   I know that Kentucky got some, and I hear that Alabama got hit too.  There is so much devastation out there.

Prayers and good wishes for all involved.

My knight sketch while laying on the couch and catching up on DVR'd TV shows yesterday.  

Not feeling well - think I got rundown the weekend before last.  That weekend, I had company coming for lunch on Sunday - had all the days planned as to what was going to get done when... and Murphy came to call instead.  Seems that the Lady who was to coordinate the wedding that weekend at church came down sick (stuff coming out both ends sick)  on Friday and I got called in to replace her - which takes out all the time I had allotted in for other things for both Friday night and Saturday... ARGGGGHHH!  Family pitched in to help but still was a big push to pull it all off.  Then this past week was trying to find where everything was and finish all the decorations for the new Sermon series at church.  For once I got that organized by friday night/Saturday morning.  Organization can be a good thing since on that Sunday morning, the throat as sore and my nose was starting to trot (it went to a full on run by mid afternoon).

At least on Friday night we finally got back into the swing of things (maybe) for our every other week DragonStorm game.  At least I hope we are getting back on track...  Anywho, I got me a really neat little item for my Spirit walking shaman - an Amythist Ring. The shaman shop owner must have been busy with the chorus of floating heads around her head 'cuz she gave me a really sweet deal on it!  We got in and out of that town with no problems (first time ever) and even got home to our own town to find that nothing major was awaiting our attention.  I guess miracle do happen - but now figure that something hugely major will happen at the next game.  Our GM just cannot let things be this easy... 

A couple of Sundays ago, I brought out my park bench people to use for decor at the Church.  We have a new worship leader and he offered to buy them but since I consider them part of the church's stash, I declined.  He said to think about it. Ok,this sunday I talked again to the guy who said he wants me to create more of these park bench people. He wants 4 dolls, to match the old kids song "Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight". I know how much I spend to make the benches. The dolls are the problem as they are glue, toilet paper tubes, old newspaper and even the shiney ads from the paper inserts, joint compound (to smooth the lines left by ripping the newspaper), yarn, left over bits of fabric from other projects,craft paints and polyurethane. You could call it recycling as almost everything is scraps most people would throw away. (Hoarding might be ok in this case?) The bench is about 18 inches long, and if the people stood up they would be in the neighborhood of 2 ft tall. I have been to Etsy and Ebay to see what people are asking there, and I'm confused. Most people use the paper clay. I see prices ranging from $5 - $150 for a single doll, all papermache/paper clay and painted (no cloth, no yarn hair). I have no idea how to price these dolls.   If anyone has suggestions, I'll listen. A reminder of how they look...

Played Dragon Storm last night (YEA!!!) and it seems that despite being higher level characters (ok, medium as in 325 points range) we cannot stay awake on watch.  I've not seen that many mid morning snoozes in a long time (terrible twos abound), and well, a not wanted message even got delivered.  Imagine waking up with a black rose with a black ribbon laying in front of your face...  And the message on the ribbon was "you live this time".  This brat even got by my warding as well as the sentry - well the sentry was sleeping but still...

Then this morning (not DS related), I let the dogs out side to find... a possum sitting on the back fence.  Not sure what had the dogs more riled up, the possum or the elusive neighbors out to take pictures.  After getting the dogs in and the neighbors left, the possum still sat there for an hour before disappearing.  I hope he has not moved in under one of the many utility sheds in the neighborhood - he was BIG!  I've had possums before - they were just passing through.  This one seems to want to stay...